BS: Volume 1, Issue 13

Lavisitya, Lavalon - The Democratic Coalition has collapsed. Long dormant in Lavalonian politics since the moce to Proboards, Emperor Z has returned and what a return he has made! It is a shame no one thought to nominated him for the FNORD Messiah Award for Best Resurrection. Z was assumed by Xon to be an honorary member of the TDC, and when Z returned he made it quite clear that he had no desire to be associated with the organization. Then he joined the PBP as the 4th member. VP Henzelli and presidium of the Socialist Party also removed the SPL from the TDC and rejected all intentions of Xon to name him or the SPL as honorary members of anything. Regent Jon of The Other Party (TOP) also retracted the TOP's assumed membership, leaving the TDC down to only to Xon's Heritage Party. That caused Xon to close up the TDC and to found the "successor" organization, the Democratic National Party, which had inherited Jon, Henzelli, and Z's honorary memberships. They all denounced such assumptions, leaving the DNP at just one member, Xon. The SPL also announced that it would like to caucus with the PBP and they would since songs. After the announcements, members of both parties exchanged humorous and senseless songs.

Lavisitya, Lavalon - Perhaps in an attempt to keep the Chief Justice's job interesting Xon filed a lawsuit against Pres. Chowdhury for intentionally putting a "Neem Tea Company" banners in the advertisement section of the forums. He insisted they were propaganda. An impossible feat as the ads on Proboards are there as a trade-off for it being free, and they are determined by the amount of keywords in a thread. He intended to use the lawsuit to make the judiciary force the government to move to his own forums that he is constantly trying to make the government switch to. The trial was not accepted by the judiciary. As a result, the Neem Administration filed a suit against Matthew Vasroixe (Xon) for using the judicial branch to spread libel against the president and for using the judicial branch to humiliate and discredit his political enemies. Responding the the charges, Vasroixe countered with "I ask the court to refuse to take that case in light of the fact that the Neem suit was a joke and in no way libelous. If the case against me for libel is allowed to go forward, I will not show up in the courtroom." The case did indeed go forward and Mr Vasroixe pleaded guilty to the charges. He was sentenced to a public apology to Ms. Chowdhury.

Lavisitya, Lavalon - A few bills in the General Assembly all have a common theme, and proposer. Vasroixe proposed the Medicinal Eucalyptus Act that will encourage the use of eucalyptia in medicine and require cough drops sold in Lavalon to contain a helpful amount of eucalyptus oil. The apparent lack of cough drops and drug companies in Lavalon is spelling doom for this bill, which is losing 1-3-0. Another bill, which turned out more like a public service announcement was apparently intended to protect eucalyptus forests. The fact that no Lavalonian citizen lives in an area hospitable to the natural growth of the plant helped foster confusion as to even why the bill was needed. It has been withdrawn from the floor and discussions about conservation of the plant may continue in the Cafe. It is the view of the Sporadically that Vasroixe, sensing a tough struggle for the retainment of the eucalyptus as the national symbol, intends to pass all this vieled laws that deify the plant so that, even if not official, the eucalyptus will remain bound to the Republic in our virtual cough drops.

Lavisitya, Lavalon - One of the newest and most proactive members of the PBP has organized an e-March to protest the notion of moving forums to ones produced by Mr Vasroixe. This is, of course, Z. Z has renewed the vigor of the Bagelcraticans in their lukewarm attempt to remain in the governments current location. When it was discovered that Basic Law 1 (Lavalon uses a series of basic laws to act as constitutional documents) required the government to meet at the forums created by Nathan Shepard. That means a move would be unconstitutional. Vasroixe lead a campaign to remove the offending clause so that a move would at least be possible. He continually reassured us all that a move would not result from this. Nathan Shepard, creator and admin of the current forums intended to vote for the amendment, because it restricted the government too much. However, Shepard wished for the Basic Law to be amended to say that the location of the forums would be decided by the General Assembly. When this amendment was not added, and the full amendment went to vote, Shepard voted no. He also rationalized that since he doesn't want the forums moved anyway, he shouldn't vote for the whole amendment, even with his addition. The addition, he claims was insurance if the amendment actually passed, which it is not currently doing at 1-4-0.

BS: Volume 1, Issue 12

Lavisitya, Lavalon - The Lavalon Weekly has been reborn as the official newspaper of the Democratic Coalition. The rebirth of the paper was in response to the Sporadically becoming the "political mouthpiece" of the PBP in Lavalon. However, citizen Xon "sold" the Weekly to... himself... and now he, as Coalition Premeir, owns it... for the TDC... again. So, now he claims, the Weekly can provide unbiased reporting out of protest of the Sporadically's political bias. The BS (Editor: That's, Bagelcratican Sporadically, smartass!) welcomes the rebirth of Lavalon's first news service. With another unbiased news serivice in Lavalon, the BS can feel free to inject editorials and opinions and spread Bagelcratican propaganda as we see fit now. Thank you Xon.

Aquilaria, Antica - Bagelcraticans in Antica even face persecution from Xon. Xon recently applauded political party created after the founding of Antica's FJBP for forming "in opposition to the Fruit Juice and Bagel Party / Bagelcraticans, regardless where it is formed. Democracy must remain intact!" Not once did the party's founder even hint at the FJBP being a motive for his party's creation. Chairman Shepard of the PBP said that Xon's irrational hatred of Bagelcraticans was now very clear.

Lindstrom City, Natopia - Grand Chancellor Shepard has nominated the BS for best newsblog for the 2005 FNORD awards at Micronations.net. No one has seconded yet... He also nominated the goat of Natopia as most creative national symbol... still not second for that either. It is expected that Natopia not win any awards at all, since no one really cares about us but our own egotistical, megalomanical, Bagelcratican, oppressive selves.

Alternate Dimension Lavalon - Happening at Lavalon's secondary boards, graciously supplied by Xon, the 5-Party Intermicronational Summit has begun with Antica, Alrodria, Breudydd, and Natopia attending with Lavalon obviously hosting. The Summit hopes to bring a final "proof" to Lavalon's long questioned right to, in fact, be Lavalon. Delegates are exchanging formalities as all delegations continue to arrive.

Issue 11, Bagelcratican Sporadically

Editor: The previous issue stated that VP Henzelli voted against the controversial Forum Change Act. While he did voice strong opposition to the bill, he did, in fact, vote for the Forum Change Act.

Lavisitya, Lavalon - Lavalonians are a peculiar bunch, they seem to hold their internet abode in the highest regard. More controversy has been created from Lavalon's forum situation than perhaps should be devoted to such a thing. Citizen Z's vote swung the Forum Change Act back in favor of the Bagelcraticans, who voted as bloc of three against the Democratic Coalition bloc vote of 3. Z is technically a member of the TDC but has made few comments that support that assumption. The Forum Change Act failed, 3-4, therefore TDC Premeir Xon launched his second forum change campaign, again touting the benefits of phpbb boards over Proboards. While TDCers claimed the current boards would perhaps scare potential citizens away, the Bagelcraticans remain stubborn in their insistance of continuity of forums. Chairman Shepard of the Bagelcraticans has called a meeting in the PBP headquarters to get a unified response form the PBP members on this issue.

Lavisitya, Lavalon - Another controversial subject, one a little more prudent than one over forums, involves Lavalon and its symbols. Should Lavalon abandon the eucalyptus and move on, as it really has no ties to any place where the plant grows since the establishment of Republic? Xon has stated that he will personally prohibit any symbols without eucalyptus leaves from passing through the General Assembly. After Regent Jon redid the Lavalonian seal, a design devoid of eucalyptus plants, Xon formed his Heritage Party and began his campaign to return all of Kieran Bennett's designs to Lavalon. Several citizens feel that Lavalon should be making its own symbols, since we are not at all like the Lavalon that was represented by those symbols. Chief Justice Shepard likened it to as the United States retaining the British Crown on their symbols and seals.

Shorts

Lindstrom City, Natopia - Largely fuelled by the forum controversy in Lavalon, Grand Chancellor Shepard has begun a series of improvements to the nation's forums. A foreign diplomat from Antica commented that the new forums had the look of of green marijuana, not the Grand Chancellor's intent by any means.

Issue 10, Bagelcratican Sporadically

Lavisitya, Lavalon - The Democratic Coalition is crumbling. Intended to oppose the Bagelcraticans long held "dominance" of the political scene, the TDC was poised to be a strong contender and ironically eliminate its opposition with its majority of members. However, the administration of the TDC seems to have lost some of its assumed support. Currently, in the vote to move forums to an admittingly spiffy new phpbb forum, support for the TDC seemingly dropped, with the Socialist Party and independent citizen Z voting against the Regent and TDC Premier Xon. Presidium Henzelli of the SP has cited concern over the Premier's role in leading the TDC and is "seriously considering leaving." The Presidium believes party politics in Lavalon with its current citizenship levels is absurd and we should not occupy our time with fears of party domination. (Editor: Now is the time to assert real Bagelcratican oppression.) Xon's main reason for wanting a new spiffy board is his desire for 5 new citizens in 2005. A spiffy new board will attract citizens, according to Xon. He then offered evidence for such, he passed up joining nations like Natopia and Navland simply because of our preference for easy, dependable, free, Proboards (Editor: Proboards.com). Speaking for Natopia, such superficiallity is an undersireable quality in Natopians.

Lindstrom City, Natopia - Ragehorizon, Lt. General of Rage, has applied for citizenship. He has also mentioned that Rage's Council, once all 11 members have uncontestedly taken their seats, will vote on whether or not Rage will join Natopia. To the best of the Grand Chancellor's knowledge, Rage is an online "clan" that had membership around 128 at one time. The details of Rage's government are unclear, as their website has been down for sometime. However, the Grand Chancellor has told Gen. Ragehorizon that, if the Rage Council votes to join Natopia, Rage may enter Natopia as a Region, and will enjoy considerable soverignty such as their own constitution and foreign affairs.

On foreign affairs, a recent treaty with Arkania has resulted in Bart Henzelli being granted honorary citizenship status, welcome comrade! Also Alrodria approaches Natopia with talks to unite our economies to enable ease of trading and conversion of monies. Such things will be expected to be discussed at Lavalon's international summit, with Natopia planning to attend as well as Alrodria and Breudwydd.

Shorts

Lavisitya, Lavalon - The executive branch is becoming more and more developed thanks to President Chowhury. In her term she has created the Department of State and of the Interior. she has filled the Interior Dept. with Chief Justice Shepard, who is currently involved with taking the census and accepting citizen reapplication, as per a law requiring such to be done before February 1.

Aquilaria, Antica - A new Free Juice and Bagels Party has been founded in Antica by Nathan Shepard. The party's future seems shaky but with the intent of an open platform, ready to be shaped by the country's independent citizens, the FJBP may amount to something of significance in Antica. If nothing else, Antica will be covered in the pages of the Sporadically.

Volume 1, Issue 9

Lavisitya, Lavalon - Well, the Sporadically's prediction of a docile, content TDC seems to be proving false. Xon has promoted himself to a self created positions, "Coalition Premier." He intends to use TDC's power to amend the Henzelli Code to give Henzelli as much chancellorial power as constitutionally possible. He also intends to have himself elected to Vice Chancellor, merely as a show of power. TDC claims to be created to preserve democracy in Lavalon, yet it is the opinion of this paper, that TDC was created only to be contrary and is rebeling without a viable cause. Democracy itself may be at stake if TDC gets drunk on its assumed power.

Lindstrom City, Lavalon - Natopia's population tragically dropped from 36 to 16 today. The twenty people had their citizenships terminated becasue they did not take an oath of citizenship, required by the Legislative Frenzy Law. Several citizens, 9 exactly, were retained as honorary citizens because of the chancellor's knowledge of special situations that would prohibit them from taking the oath in the time limit. Hopefully, the 9 citizens will take the oath shortly and join the 7 current "full" citizens in Natopian affairs.

Shorts

Lindstrom City, Lavalon - Natopia adopted its 6th constitution recently. It is exactly similar except that the Grand Judge may rule on any law, and not just ones brought to the Court. Also the Senate was renamed the Legislative Frenzy, and an amending clause, which was embaressingly lewft out of the 5th constitution.

Volume 1, Issue 8

Lavisitya, Lavalon - Bagelcraticans in Lavalon cannot help but feel a bit confused and hurt. Former party member, Matthew Vasroixe has formed the Heritage Party and has entered it into the Democratic Coalition with Bartholomew Henzelli supporting TDC by having the Socialist Party join as well. The sole purpose of TDC is to defeat Bagelcraticans on important issues. What issues these are remains unclear, as the Bagelcraticans have never issued a public statement about Lavalonian policy since they called for the maintaining of the Basic Law system. Xon founded the Democratic Coalition (as well as his Heritage Party) with everyone but the PBP as "default" members, a wise move that, if TDC can stay unified in the face of so-called Bagelcratican oppression, will hold the majority in all votes. Perhaps this is another one of Xon's so-called power grabs? A great irony has evolved from TDC, Henzelli and Xon seem to be friends again, or at least political allies, very peculiar after this bitter tirade against Xon's character and professional interaction with Lavalon. This paper believes that very little will come of TDC, that is unless, they are serious about the "Bagelcratican oppression," and they decide to oppress the Bagelcraticans in return.

Lindstrom City, Natopia - The controversial bill that will reduce all citizens to honorary status and strip them of their positions, titles, and lands was passed unanimously by the Legislative Frenzy last night. All citizens who have not taken Oaths will be reduced to honorary status. So far, only 5 out of 36 citizens have taken an Oath. The Grand Chancellor is very upset about the apparent distaste Natopians have for their country. "If they do not care about Natopia, Natopia does not care about them," His Excellency was reported saying as he left Lindstrom City for the County of Death Valley for official state business with Lord Mark, Chief of Loyalty Enforcement.

Shorts

Lavisitya, Lavalon - The MCS map project awaits in the Cafe for ideas for Lavalonian provinces. Once completed Lavalon will have a "physical" territory of her own among her allies such as Natopia and Antica.

Shireroth - There are no Bagelcraticans in Shireroth, however the Sporadically deems it necessary to bring our reader's attention to a wonderful leap in micronational journalism: voice news broadcast. Use this link to download the 1 MB WAV file and listen to news events in nations such as Antica, Attera, San Martin, and Novaya Zemlya.

www.shireroth.org/Stuff/radio1.wav

Volume 1, Issue 7

Punkrock, Natopia - A small county in the Principality of Ziegeland-Lochhatonia seems to be the one small flame of activity in Natopia. The Prince hopes the Count, Lord Joel, one of the original Founders of Natopia, will take his little county of Punkrock and grow it into the very idea Prince Nathan has in mind for the Principality, and for Natopia as a whole. Lord Joel has already begun on a flag design as well as listing subordinates to aid him. With Natopian Senate Bill 31 coming near to passage, many subject of the Principality will find themselves without the legal ability to hold a title or office. This will free up "huge tracts o' land" that the Prince is hoping to award to Lord Joel, who is displaying more activity and enthusiam than Her Highness, Princess Sherry.

Lavistiya, Lavalon - Matthew Vasroixe (xon) just can't seem to leave Lavalon! We here at the Bagelcratican can't blame him though. However, his termination and subsequent return has caused a bit of debate in the Internation Association when his own nation, the Republic of Eucalyptia, applied for membership and was admitted by Prime Minister Shepard. PM Shepard explained to the Upper House, where Sen. Klaas called the decision as illegal, that Xon has indeed terminated his citizenship and therefore was not in violation of the Council Nondublication Act. Meanwhile, Xon continues to post laws and amendments in Lavalon, thouroughly confusing everyone right about now.

Volume 1, Issue 6

Lindstrom City, Natopia - A bill is currently in the Senate awaiting a second to begin voting that will drastically cut down on Natopia's misclassified citizens problem. Natopia has 36 officially recorded citizens, only 14 of which have actually posted at least one post in the Natopian Forums. Out of those 14, only a scant 4 can be counted on to regulalry visit the Forums and participate. And, of those four, only 2 Natopian citizens have taken an Oath of Citizenship, established in Senate Law, but has not been forced on citizens. The aforementioned Senate Bill (Senate Bill 31: Loyalty Ensurance of Citizens) will force all Citizens to take an Oath of Citizenship. If they do not take the Oath, they will be reclassified as Honorary Citizens. Honorary citizens may still call themselves Citizens of the Republic of Natopia, but may not serve in a government position. The proposer of the Bill, Grand Chancellor Shepard, hopes this will shake people into participation. Many citizens hold titles and positions of considerable power, and yet have not posted to the Forums in months. This Bill will essentially take away from them what they do not deserve anymore.

This Bill could potentially shrink Natopia to a mere two citizens, thus leaving most of the Imperial government useless, as it is too large to govern a mere two people. The government will continue to operate, with the intentional back up plan of Chancellorial Decrees to cover day to day adminitrative legislation. The Grand Chancellor sees this as "not very different that what we have now." The Grand Chancellor then began to weep for his wounded nation.

Shorts

Lindstrom City, Natopia - The Minister of Defense, and Grand Chancellor of the Natopian Defense Force, has recently reorganized the military and has presented the NDF to the Micronational Recreational Warfare Society at MicroNations.net for suggestions and advice.

Lavisitya, Lavalon - Lavalon recieved a new Antican Ambassador with mixed feelings today. Lt. General MeanBean has been assigned to Lavalon and is hoping to make amends with recently expatriated Lavalonian, Matthew Vasroixe. MeanBean's introduction shocked some Lavalonians with the first usage of the word "fuck" in the Lavalon Forums. A user posting as "the Empire of Zonia" requested that the President request a replacement Ambassador.

Volume 1, Issue 5

Lavisitya, Lavalon - Yesterday, January 8, 2005, Matthew Vasroixe, Lavalon's oldest citizen, announced his self-termination of citizenship. He claims he needs a long break from micronationalism, and Lavalon in particular. By not calling it a vacation, he beleives it will be easier to just leave and not feel guilty about being inactive. Justice Shepard and President Chowdhury have expressed regret over his decisision. Regent Christophe has showed sympathy and a message of understanding, hinting that he too may decide to take a prolonged break.

Such messages trouble the Bagelcratican Sporadically greatly. In a time when all of micronationalism seems to be entering a dormant the lose of active citizens is especially crippling. However, we respect Vasroixe's decision and wish him well on all of his endeavors. Thank you Xon, for that you have done for Lavalon.

Volume 1, Issue 4

Lindstrom City, Ziegeland - Happy New Year readers! In a sudden turnaround Grand Chancellor Shepard announced in the Commonwealth of Eucalyptia's Main Secretariat Chamber that Natopia is getting cold feet about the new and improved Commonwealth.

Sir Shepard was key in the idealization of the new commonwealth structure with his counter-proposal, the Natopia Plan, to Mr Vasroixe's orginal Grand Sovereignty Proposal. It is recorded in the Secretariat chamber that Sir Shepard has had private discussions with the higher ups of Natopia and this prompted his about face.

Could this be in response to Mr Vasroixe repeatedly calling Natopia dead? Is there an aire of distrust around the alleged co-conspirators, Mr Vasroixe and Mr Henzelli, who are the only other two heads of states in the Commonwealth? The Grand Chancellor was stopped outside of the Main Secretariat chamber and told this paper that "Mr Vasroixe's insults against the proud Natopian Nation have stung harder than I orginally thought. I intended to let it go at the first occurance, in his Grand Sovereignty proposal, by letting him know of my offense. But then he said it again when debateing the Natopia Plan. However, this is not the reason why I proposed a Resolution in the Natopian Senate for Natopia's withdrawl from the ComEu. The ComEu has done very little, if anything in its existance. I've come to realize that just giving it more power over Natopia will do nothing to benefit Natopia, which is my chief concern.

Lavisitya, Lavalon - As the elections are just days away Lavalon seems to have fallen into a slump. Whatever politically charged moments that are usually expounded in the days prior to an election have been sucked clean from Lavalon. The outgoing president has chosen to endorse his Vice President, Lady Chowdhury, over his former Chief-of-Staff and current Chancellor, Mr Henzelli. This tipped the polls in favor of Lady Chowdhury by 4-2. There is very little possibility of Lady Chowdhury's supporters to switch over. The President has made it quite clear that Mr Henzelli's responses to a debate (that he himself sponsored and is currently drawing fire for its questionable and vague execution) are unacceptable to him. The remaining 3 supporters are Lady Chowdhury herself, Sir Shepard (her campaign manager) and Zachary Klaas, all of whom are known for voting similarly in the so called CKS bloc.

An Inquiry into the alleged conspiracy between President Vasroixe and Chancellor Henzelli is currently in the interview phase and being chaired by Chief Justice Shepard with Regent Christophe and VP Chowdhury assisting as interviewers. Even a scandelous inquiry has not shaken Lavalon out of its holidays' slumber. What is going on with Lavalon?