Issue 37 - Bagel and Juice Day, citizens, the court

The Bagelcratican Sporadically would like to bask in its many achievements before we get to the news. The BS has provided low-quality, noncontinuous news for dozens of readers for almost 3 years. Tomorrow the people of Natopia throw open their doors to the world to help them celebrate the founding of perhaps the most important political party founded ever. Tomorrow will mark 4 glorious bagel and juice filled years of the Free Juice and Bagel Party, founded by Ryan Grass, a second generation Natopian now lost to time. His impact on Natopia and the world could not have been known 4 years ago. It's a surprise nothing is named after him. Come celebrate with us at Lindstrom Convention Center.

Now the news.

Natopia has been invaded with new citizens. With four new citizens joining in under a month the population has strained to accommodate the newcomers. Most of the new citizens are entrepreneurs, opening Natopia's first domestic car manufactur, a juice and gun stand, and a fitness shop and exercise center. Newest citizens include Ben Blaser, Nick Light, Konrad von Zeck and Matheu Vasroixe.

Matheu Vasroixe joined Natopia in a surprise plan to rejuvenate the Principality of Lavalon, which Natopia annexed last summer. Lavalon will be seceding from Natopia very soon to begin again its long republican traditions. The BS wishes them well.

The Frenzy has been living up to its name again. By the way, the Frenzy was given its current name by Ryan Grass as well. We really should name something after him. A measure was proposed by Minister of Silly Walks Priyanth Sweet Pants to repeal the gun control laws of the Royal Code. The section banned all guns in Natopia excluding hunting and collectable/historic guns. Minister Sweet Pants is the owner of "Brown Man's Juice 'n Guns Stand." Lavalon's secession will be made official with the repealing of section 43, which outlines how the Lavalonian and Natopian governments interacted. A controversial bill to kill all fat people in Natopia was also proposed by Minister Sweet Pants. As there is no procedure to officially remove a bill from the floor of the Frenzy, the offending act remains, although Chancellor Ziff has made it clear he wants debate to end on the bill.

Minister Sweet Pants has created many troubles for himself lately too. He is facing two separate court cases, each charging multiple infractions on Royal Code law which protect against slander and libel and protect citizens from repeated verbal assaults. The cases cite posts where Minister Sweet Pants has insulted and slandered Natopian citizens. The plaintiffs are Konrad von Zeck and Lord Tom Mills.

The High Royal Court is also in need of expansion with the previously mentioned new citizens. The constitution states that the court be expanded to 3 total judges once the population reaches 10 active citizens. High Royal Judge Zachary "Z" Azilin will be nominating new judges in the near future, once he shows up again.

In entertainment news, Natopia is having a "Sexiest Natopian Alive" contest. Any women or other interested parties reading this are invited to Natopia to help judge the competition. Natopia is 100% male so you can see our predicament.